We’ve all been there before – the dreaded first date.
But wait a second… first dates are supposed to be fun, right? So why do we dread them so much? Why are we always nervous?
Because let’s face it, first dates are interviews. They’re interviews with potentially a bunch at stake (that person sitting across from you may be your future spouse!). And they’re interviews that we’ve received a ton of advice about beforehand. So much advice that it actually doesn’t calm our nerves, it makes us more nervous. There’s too much to remember.
So let’s simplify things. To make your next first date less nerve-racking just remember these three things not to do. If you keep these in mind, we promise you’ll do just fine (and you can work on other subtle improvements later – if you need to).
- Don’t show up late. We can’t tell you how many times we hear about people showing up late to a first date. It totally hurts the chances of finding a connection before the date even starts. Just think about being in the other person’s shoes. They’ll probably give you the benefit of the doubt for the first few minutes because they’re excited. But after that their opinion of you will start to drop. Why? Because they showed up on time, ready, and excited for your date. And the longer you make them wait the more they’ll think that you’re not as excited about the date, and the dumber they’ll feel for getting so excited in the first place! It’s not the end of the world if you show up late, but trust us, it doesn’t start the date out on the right foot. First impressions do matter.
- Don’t talk too much (and about yourself). When people get nervous on a first date they usually talk. And when you’re on a first date, the topic is usually you. Put those two things together and it results in many a nervous-first-dater talking a lot about themselves on their first date. If you think about it from the other person’s perspective, you’re likely coming off as self-centered if you spend all night gabbing about yourself – when in reality you may be the most caring, giving person in the world, but you’re just nervous! So remember – don’t talk too much (your date probably wants to tell you about themselves too!)
- Don’t bring up your ex. One of the quickest ways to pull the emergency brake on any type of first date momentum is to bring up your ex. Bringing up your ex takes you and your date out of the light-spirited present moment of the date you’re on. It adds unnecessary weight and history to your date. Even if you just reference your ex in passing, it still acts as a subtle thought in the back of your date’s head throughout the night. Why do that? Save any info about your ex for later (or never at all – they’re your ex for a reason!).
There are plenty of Do’s and Don’t’s for first dates. And everybody is different. But we highly recommend these 3 Don’ts. Remember these on your next first date, and you’ll be off to a great start. Good luck!
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